May 25th, 2010 (09:03 am)
current mood: cranky
I've been thinking about dying gracefully a bunch this weekend.
I've got a cat, Lump, that's 15 or so. (don't really know, and she's not telling)
She came to us a damaged little thing. Terrified of everything and aggressive towards Camping Cat.
Fast forward six years to now. She's the one that cuddles me at night. She lays on her back and does this wiggly little dance when she wants attention. She still over-reacts to being startled, but I've seen her start a game only to fluff and hiss when the other cat looks at her, so it's mostly show.
Her liver is failing.
One drug didn't work, we're starting three more, but really, I'm not very hopeful. At least the vet ordered them made up into fish flavored liquid form, so we don't have to shove multiple pills down her throat. She's in some pain from bad teeth that need to come out, but so far isn't showing any signs of overall illness.
Coupled with that...
My parents are taking care of my grandmother (95) and her sister (83?)
Mom and Grandma are both people pleasers. Aunt S. is, well, let me 'splain.
Aunt S. had some sort of medical issues when she was a small child. Her entire life, she's been treated like a fragile flower, so that's who she became. She's tried every fad health thing for the past 50+ years, and now she lives mostly on buttermilk. She won't throw away any piece of paper with her address on it. She's got the victim identity so ingrained that it's not an act, but it is still manipulative. Her history explains some of her attitudes, but doesn't excuse them.
Grandma and Aunt S. live together in an apartment near my parents. They don't need 24 hour care, but they do need checking on daily, medicines laid out, grocery shopping done, that sort of thing.
Aunt S. absolutely refuses to have anyone besides Mom and Grandma take care of her. Grandma can barely take care of herself anymore, so my parents are essentially trapped in town, because my Mom doesn't want to make Aunt S. unhappy.
Dad is sick of it all, but Mom, Grandma, and Aunt S. are all trapped in this cycle of abuse? co-dependency? bat-shit crazyness?
And there's nothing I can do.