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V's Herbie [userpic]

On coming out

October 11th, 2010 (03:48 pm)
discontent

current mood: discontent

I've been feeling uncomfortably closeted today with all the happy out messages on facebook.

The thing is, I never really came out properly because I wasn't forced to. My sister is the only family member that knows, and because of being married to J my straightness is assumed by new people I meet.

I don't make a particular secret of it, but I don't make sure that people know either. It feels odd to bring it up. I mean, what would I say? "Oh by the way, I would sleep with a woman if I wasn't in a mostly monogamous relationship. No, that wasn't a proposition. Just a public service announcement."

Then there's the part of me that thinks I should be out just for the public service angle.
That part is being overruled by fear of offending all my religious relatives and starting a family flame war on facebook.

Once again, widely used social media does not make for a safe space.

V's Herbie [userpic]

I should be nicer to J....

September 12th, 2010 (07:35 pm)

He tried to poison me...

He made very tasty chicken in sun-dried tomato sauce.

My taste buds liked it, but it felt highly acidic in my mouth, and some part of my brain insisted I stop eating it.

Fifteen minutes later my fingertips, lips, and tongue started to tingle.

We looked back at those tomatoes... they were smoke-dried. Here in central texas, where the most abundant cheap wood is cedar. I'm allergic to cedar.

Maybe Texas tried to poison me...

V's Herbie [userpic]

what a week! Huh? Only Tuesday? NOOOOO!!!

August 31st, 2010 (05:50 pm)

Yeah that about sums up yesterday and today in the Herbie/Celledhor household.

J had a day yesterday that included a boss suddenly writing people up for totally unnecessary things like having a sick child, co-workers plotting revenge, a low speed car accident, and a pharmacy that was out of insulin.

My day today started when J called at 5:45 AM to say he'd taken the truck because the car wouldn't start. (I suspect electrical wonkyness from the accident) I got myself to campus but I've been just that little bit off all day. I was about a minute late to the first meeting of the class I'm teaching, and since I'd powerwalked in the heat I was out of breath and sweaty. Yay first impressions!

I haven't had anything huge go wrong, just nothing has gone exactly right.

I guess it's a good sign that today registers as a bad day. I'm not totally freaked about anything right now. I'm just gonna teach these kids some bio. Even the military fanboy with the squeaky voice who asks permission to do anything, and the highly earnest but kinda dim one that looked puzzled at the concept that the pH scale is based on a measurement, even though I'd just spent 15min on it.

V's Herbie [userpic]

Identity

July 2nd, 2010 (08:33 pm)

So, two months after the semester ended, I'm finally rested enough to muse about my life.

I've decided to take a masters degree in molecular bio instead of continuing to pursue the PhD.

I'll still be in school for another year taking fake units labeled as working toward a masters degree, and writing a masters report on.... something....

I'm sad about giving up on the doctorate, but I don't like doing it, and I don't want to do the careers that it leads to.

That's the door closing, here's the window I think I'll jump out of.

I want to teach science. Biology in particular.
Teaching is what's kept me in my graduate program for the last year at least.

I'd really like to teach at the college level, which pretty much requires a PhD

There's a Science Education PhD program here, on campus. I talked to them and since I'm already in the graduate school I don't have to muck about with transcripts and GRE stuff. They are mostly interested in why I want the PhD, and what, exactly I want to study.

If that doesn't come through, I could probably get a HS teaching job on a provisional credential.

Big changes afoot...

V's Herbie [userpic]

musings on the end of life

May 25th, 2010 (09:03 am)
cranky

current mood: cranky

I've been thinking about dying gracefully a bunch this weekend.

I've got a cat, Lump, that's 15 or so. (don't really know, and she's not telling)

She came to us a damaged little thing. Terrified of everything and aggressive towards Camping Cat.

Fast forward six years to now. She's the one that cuddles me at night. She lays on her back and does this wiggly little dance when she wants attention. She still over-reacts to being startled, but I've seen her start a game only to fluff and hiss when the other cat looks at her, so it's mostly show.

Her liver is failing.

One drug didn't work, we're starting three more, but really, I'm not very hopeful. At least the vet ordered them made up into fish flavored liquid form, so we don't have to shove multiple pills down her throat. She's in some pain from bad teeth that need to come out, but so far isn't showing any signs of overall illness.


Coupled with that...

My parents are taking care of my grandmother (95) and her sister (83?)

Mom and Grandma are both people pleasers. Aunt S. is, well, let me 'splain.

Aunt S. had some sort of medical issues when she was a small child. Her entire life, she's been treated like a fragile flower, so that's who she became. She's tried every fad health thing for the past 50+ years, and now she lives mostly on buttermilk. She won't throw away any piece of paper with her address on it. She's got the victim identity so ingrained that it's not an act, but it is still manipulative. Her history explains some of her attitudes, but doesn't excuse them.

Grandma and Aunt S. live together in an apartment near my parents. They don't need 24 hour care, but they do need checking on daily, medicines laid out, grocery shopping done, that sort of thing.

Aunt S. absolutely refuses to have anyone besides Mom and Grandma take care of her. Grandma can barely take care of herself anymore, so my parents are essentially trapped in town, because my Mom doesn't want to make Aunt S. unhappy.

Dad is sick of it all, but Mom, Grandma, and Aunt S. are all trapped in this cycle of abuse? co-dependency? bat-shit crazyness?

And there's nothing I can do.

V's Herbie [userpic]

Behold the logic!

May 20th, 2010 (02:05 pm)
annoyed

current mood: annoyed

I just finished grading final exams!

Here's a sample of what I had to slog through.

The question:

A patient has had a serious accident and lost a lot of blood. In an attempt to replenish body fluids, normal saline (0.9% NaCl), equal to the volume of blood lost is transferred directly into one of his veins. Why is saline added instead of distilled water?

The right answer:

You need to balance the salt concentration in the added liquid with the salt concentration in the red blood cells. If you added just water, red blood cells would burst.

The Replies:
I've chosen representatives of categories here. These are not unique. Original grammar and spelling intact

General concern
- Saline has electrolytes to help patient get better.


Chemistry challenged
- Saline will act as a buffer and replenish of remove needed or extra H+ in the blood to stabilize it, where as water would just act as a base and make it basic w/ OH-

- Saline is added into the veins because if you add distilled water unwanted hydrogen bonds would form. But if you ad saline (.9% NaCl) solution the bonds between Na Cl would breakdown to Na+ and Cl+


Magical Properties
-Water in the body already, when lose blood you lose cholesterol that was in it also, so NaCl will help restore the levels needed more than the water would help. Also different pH's.

-The blood has a property that allows it to make adjustments in cases like this. Water wouldn't be as effective

-b/c distilled water wouldn't be able to replenish the blood lost. Saline has the ability to compensate ans has the 'like' components.


Just throw vocabulary in there
-If distilled water was added, the blood would just become thinner because it would the water and blood would eventually reach equilibrium. The more plain water added would add more liquid to his blood which now needs even more saline solution for his whole body to be in equilibrium. The saline will fix the problem quicker as a greater concentration of salt solves the problem.


I don't even know
-saline is a thicker solution as blood compared to water. Water would travel to quickly through the body thats in shock not allowing it enough time to absorb the liquid properly.

-because blood cannot permeable to water. when adding saline the blood and NaCl concentration reach equilibrium by transfers H+

V's Herbie [userpic]

Oy the nerve of some people..

May 5th, 2010 (03:48 pm)
amused

current mood: amused

Over heard a student trying to talk her way to a higher grade.

Her grades are so low that she needs 105% on the final in order to get a D.

Aint. Gonna. Happen.

I love how she's only now figuring this out since she put her scores into the magic spreadsheet.

Protip: If you got an F on every assignment, you will get an F in the class.

V's Herbie [userpic]

whump

April 16th, 2010 (04:15 pm)
exhausted

current mood: exhausted

holy fucking hell I'm tired.

three more weeks of the semester, then I think I will sleep.

constant 12 hour days are killing me.

I want to go to this concert tonight, but I'm so tired I'm afraid I'd just fall asleep.

It's like I'm at the end of my rope, but I can't tie a knot and hold on because someone may have already tied that kind of knot, and if they haven't, then the knot must make sense to the established knot tie-ers, so I'm constantly scrabbling up those last few feet of rope just so I don't slip off the end.

One analogy, totally killed.

It's a mark of how much I've been teaching lately that I can only explain myself in an analogy

I can also only string together a few words before my brain slips into brrrrasifhopwgvhvpppslkejf......

V's Herbie [userpic]

In CA for turkey day

November 23rd, 2009 (10:15 am)

::tap tap::

Is this thing still on?

Not sure if there's anybody who reads this that isn't over on facebook, but just in case...

Jeremy and I will be at Dickens fair THIS SATURDAY!!! One Day Only!!!


<3 Herbie

V's Herbie [userpic]

still here

July 16th, 2009 (12:46 pm)

feeling some better after a chicken wrap for lunch. yay phytonutrients!

I'm now off to try to fix the brains of undergrads who have had difficult lectures since I saw them last.

Then tonight, Potter!

(My life is thrilling)

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